Secrets to Successful Wedding Dress Shopping

I am often asked about cringe worthy moments and bridezillas. Honestly, Loveliest offers a laid back, no pressure atmosphere that discourages drama. This is not your reality TV wedding dress shopping experience. However, there are certainly things that those of us in this business see regularly that make us want to get on our soapboxes, so mic check please! Here are (the first) five secrets to a successful visit!

She said YES to her Loveliest!

1.       Let the bride react first!

I know that most of you reading this are brides yourselves. If not, read secret #1 above. If so, please encourage your guests to listen to your thoughts before they utter theirs. Everyone has their own preferences, senses of style, wedding ideals, etc. that will come through in their reactions. And it is okay for them to give you feedback. After all, that’s why you brought them along. However, most of the time, if a loved one sees your excitement, they will support you in your decision. Similarly, voicing that a dress is not the one for you discourages your guests from building it up, giving you more time to try those that could be “the dress!” Remember, the way you FEEL in a dress is going to show on your actual wedding day, and only you can truly know that feeling. Find the dress that makes you feel like the most beautiful bridal version of yourself and trust your gut!

2.       Bring the yes makers with you (when possible)!

I know secret #1 suggested making your dress decision based on your own feelings, but there are often loved ones whose opinions matter! I wanted my mom and my husband to LOVE my dress! Since my husband couldn’t see it, my mom’s input was incredibly important to me. When she saw my reaction to “the dress” she loved it, simply because she could see that I did. Bring those people with you – the ones who “get you” and recognize when you light up! I have watched brides itching to say yes who feel they can’t without their sister, MIL, MOH, etc. seeing it first. I totally get it! Bring the people whose opinions you MUST have with you to each appointment. Made-to-order dresses can be discontinued, or you may lose out on a limited time discount, pushing a dress over budget. At Loveliest, many of our dresses are available off-the-rack and can sell before you bring your inner circle back. One of the absolute worst parts of my job is telling a bride that a dress she loved is no longer available.

Getting fedback // Credit: A&M Cunningham Photography

3.       Don’t look until you’re ready to commit!

Similar to secret #2, this one refers to your mental and financial readiness. Some of my favorite appointments are those “just looking” visits. Without the pressure of needing to find your dress THAT day, you often enjoy the experience more, listen to your own thoughts, and can react without trying to check boxes off a list of must haves. For that reason, even if you are “just looking” make sure you come with the funds and open mind you need to say YES!

4.       Let the FOMO go!

The fear of missing out seems to have reached an all time high. There are literally millions of wedding dresses out there. There is no way for you to try them all on, just like there is no way to date every potential partner to see if he/she might be better than the one with whom you’ve already fallen in love. If you LOVE a dress and it makes you feel the way I mentioned in secret #1, do not agonize over the decision! I have now had MULTIPLE brides search for several months at endless stores in various cities only to come back to the dress they loved at Loveliest. That does not sound particularly enjoyable for the bride (or for those who need to attend every appointment – see secret #2). Don’t make it harder on yourself than it has to be, which leads us to secret #5…

5.       Have FUN!

Wedding dress shopping fun // Credit: Whitney Jade Photography

You're Coming In with Me?

Oh crap. I should have worn prettier underwear. How are my underarms so hairy? I literally just shaved. There is no way my legs can be that ashy! Did I not put lotion on earlier?  Geez, I really should have tanned at least once this summer so I wouldn’t blind everyone in sight. Why does it have to be so hot? She is going to think I don’t even wear deodorant! I wish I hadn’t eaten that extra slice of pizza today. I feel so bloated.

Ladies…if these or any other similar thoughts come into your head while trying on wedding dresses at Loveliest, I want you to know:

1. I have been there, and

2. this is a judgment-free zone!

When I first realized that a bridal stylist would be joining me in the dressing room to physically help me in and out of wedding dresses, I was a bit shocked. I was thinking “I should have worn different undies.” Then, “Did I shave my bikini line?” And finally, “Oh my gosh, she is going to see just how flat-chested I am.”

Now, I am the one in the dressing room either supporting a bride as she steps through layers of fabric or guiding her hands through the armholes of a dress as I pull it over her head. I can promise you that I am not looking at your undies, your bra, your belly, your underarms, or anything else. I am fully concentrating on making sure I get you properly into said dress with each layer of fabric laying as it should and pinning it the best way possible so that you and your guests are able to see what it will look like post-alterations.

At Loveliest, I see that you have the curves I’ve always dreamed of, or the perfectly toned arms and back, or the beautifully bronzed skin, or the gorgeous smile that makes you glow, or the hair that looks good with or without a veil. Every bride I work with is beautiful. Each one exudes hope, excitement, and awe. This is one of the most magical times in your life. Let’s focus on that together. 

Does that mean you can’t voice your opinion? Absolutely not! I encourage you to tell me if we need to change the music, if you are too hot or too cold, or if you need a refill on snacks or a drink. Most importantly, please tell me what you do and don’t like about each dress.  It will help us find your perfect one! But, if I catch you spouting silly negative thoughts about yourself, we might have to have a quick “reset” chat, because I guarantee there is plenty of positive going on in that wedding dress! Love wins!

Finding Your Dress with commUNITY

Your wedding will be one of the most precious milestones in your life. It is a time to gather those most influential and important in your lives. It is an occasion to celebrate your love along with the love and support you’ve received along your journeys, both as individuals and as a couple. It is an opportunity to expand your family and acknowledge the examples set for you by parents, grandparents, and other loving role models. It is a blessing to be surrounded by your very own community of people special to you.

However, in the midst of your community, don’t lose sight of the other person who you are committing to sharing the rest of your life with – the one who makes this whole big celebration possible in the first place! Every bride is different, but if you are the slightest bit like me, you are excited to see the details of your wedding come together and want to share with those around you. It is tempting to make your whole community of friends and family your sounding board for ideas, opinions, and approval, even with your dress (gasp!).

I had four physical bodies in the room with me during my first dress shopping appointment. I say four physical bodies, because I also had about five more opinions being summoned via text messages and video calls. Technology is something, huh? I LOVE every single person who was weighing in that day, whether in person or on the other end of a phone, and I respect their opinions, but it was incredibly easy to disregard the own voice inside my head and respond to the reactions I saw forming around me with each dress I tried on. 

Martina Liana Gown

In fact, I was this close to going with the BEAUTIFUL, beaded Martina Liana gown pictured above that everyone else liked as much (if not more) than I did. I have about as many curves as a square, so this dress did wonders for me!

What steered me away from this beauty was trying on a much simpler gown (I'll share those pictures soon) that made me think to myself “This is the girl Gavin fell in love with.” Does every bride have that "ah-ha" moment? I can't say for certain, but my advice for having that revelatory feeling is to picture walking towards your love at the other end of the aisle. For this one instance, let the voices of your community fade away and focus on simply the UNITY between you and your future spouse. Does the dress fit your style as a couple? Will you still look like you – only the loveliest version of you? Let me help you find “that” dress!